Fashion
April 17, 2021

Christopher Kane is for the Timeless Bride

Glitz the Cooch

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Bridal fashion can be quite the experience if you are daring and are open to a new vibe. Long gone are the days of the long train and white gown. Why not find a gown that matches your personality?

Say pass to the passive and say hello to the hell-raiser.

The beauty of a British designer like Christopher Kane is that he is incredibly risky and edgy without trying to shank the consumer. His collections are consistently the kink of London, amongst the sophistication of such designers like Stella McCartney and Burberry. There’s an unrequited loyalty that his consumers have to his namesake label.

Fresh off the seams of his bridal wear debut last year, Christopher Kane is back with another collection. Nothing beats a summer wedding and what better way to twist the traditional with a disruptive dress courtesy of the Scottish powerhouse that is Kane.

Christopher Kane has long been lauded as an innovator with fresh garments that blur the white-marked lines of what materials work for what seasons and for what silhouettes are deemed sensual and pleasing. It’s quite a commonality nowadays to see brands recycle the same shapes, patterns, and textures. The same cannot be said about Kane.

The undeniable fact is that weddings occur every day of every month of every year. That traditional white dress that you’ve always dreamed of ever since you were a little girl is great, but it’s never going to push the envelope of what your image and creativity encompass. What’s stopping you from walking down the aisle in white denim or a long chiffon cape?

Be the vision.

Bridal | Christopher Kane is for the Timeless Bride | He Who Nose


The Christopher Kane Bride

In conversation with The Glass, Christopher and Tammy (Cofounder, Creative Director, and also his sister, but which role outweighs the other?) of the Christopher Kane label, perfectly encapsulate the thought that comes to mind when seeing the collection:

“A Christopher Kane bride has the strength of a character to do whatever they like on their wedding day. They don’t feel the pressure to conform to the traditional sartorial rules.”

Exactly my point.

Bridal | Christopher Kane is for the Timeless Bride | He Who Nose

Wedding Fashion Is Tacky At Best

This collection is by no means a fuck you to the traditional white bride (nor her philandering husband). She’s the girl that takes the tube to her big day because she said, “Fuck the limo; I could use the quid on a pack of fags and rizzlers.” She’s a head-spinner by all intents and purposes.

Not to mention that each piece from the collection is understated enough that they can be worn to galas, ceremonies, and even Glastonbury if the opportunity arises.

To put it kindly, if you’re wondering whether you are the Christopher Kane bride, you absolutely are not. The Christopher Kane bride doesn’t have to question such an idea. They are fully aware of their pussy power and are captivators at all costs.

Give your pervy uncles, bosses, and brothers’ friends something to look at. But remember, they must never touch these pristine, white garments.

Weddings Are Boring for A Fucking Reason

Truth be told, the wedding game has become painstakingly dull and brutally unexciting; same weddings, new cast. Where are the objections to the marriage? Why are we not seeing the family troubles play out before our eyes? And where are the fugly fascinators?

Everything’s a bit too contrived nowadays. There’s not an ounce of surprise nor entertainment. Where’s the drama? It’s clearly been drained from the muscles of matrimony.

The least you can do is put on a show for your guests, up the ante with an Haute bridal piece that elevates your image. Be the name on everyone’s lips and give gran the heart attack your mother’s been praying for every night.

Standout Pieces

The collection plays symmetry, similar to how sculptors play with the moulding clay. Each piece is fitted to a shape, while each line is clean and perfectly tailored.

The proportions of signature pieces like the lace bodice dress, lace gown, and dome satin cupcake dress symbolize the brand’s versatility while keeping with the vision of the 21st-century bride.

Crystal Embellished Lace Gown

There’s something very vampy about the dress with the cutouts. It’s simple and, dare I say, the closest to traditional the collection has to offer.

Crystal Embellished Lace Gown by Christopher Kane | He Who Nose
Image Courtesy: Christopher Kane

Lace Bodice Tulle Dress

The seamless peek-a-boo sets this look apart. Of course, it’s a Kane staple, but it’s also a sex-pusher. It’s the Kane equivalent to a Victoria’s Secret (RIP) push-up bra, adding just the right amount of sex appeal to the overall look.

Lace Bodice Tulle Dress by Christopher Kane | He Who Nose
Image Courtesy: Christopher Kane

The Organza Frill Gown

This look, in particular, presents an effortless viewing and, in many ways, directs the eye to the legs. It makes for a solid standout piece. The veil, which is embellished with feathers, creates true BBC-level drama.

The Organza Frill Gown by Christopher Kane | He Who Nose
Image Courtesy: Christopher Kane


Rip the Seal, Read the Mail, and Then See Who It’s Addressed To!

2021 is for the envelope-pushing. slut-dropping, top bitch bride.

What better feeling than telling your friends and family that the piece you’re wearing isn’t made in some stingy basement with leaky plumbing? Your gown was crafted and imported from London, UK because you’re the true queen you’ve always known.

Go Minimal with the Face; the Garment is A Conversation Piece.

You don’t even need to do a lot with your makeup. You can go softer with the lip and the eye makeup. The pieces are all technical in design and tanalizing in nature.

Confuse your guests with the profound thought:

“Is she going to her wedding or a photoshoot? She’s lost her fuckin’ marbles that one.”

The truth is: fuck what the modern woman thinks. This girl is light years ahead. She’s wearing what she wants, and the garment is God.

Fashion is different. Contrary to popular belief, glamorous gowns are showstoppers for the thirsty. What about the cultured folk? Who’s going to enthrall their tastebuds? You. You’re the answer.

For those who have long awaited the “more-is-more” runway look, Christopher Kane is the missing puzzle piece that bridges our yearning for the new “it-girl” of fashion.

Think to yourself:

Would I like to be perceived for my beauty or personality?

Today’s fashion buyer is clever enough to know that they can find elevated pieces to show off their personality. And beauty? All in the eye of the beholder hoe.

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